Songs to be written for
A Science/Fiction Musical Emergency

May 10, 2014
Get there 7:30 pm;
Musical starts 8:00 pm sharp!

Sun Gallery
1015 E Street, Hayward, CA

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Songs to be written

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The Story of
Inherit the Wind Chimes
A Musical Emergency

It was a tense day in small claims court. Mr. Jenkins grumbled resentfully in his seat while his neighbor and adversary, Ms. Barrows, sat defiantly across the aisle, her arms folded.

Mr. Jenkins hoped that his day in court would finally bring him some peace. Everything he valued in life, it seemed, Ms. Barrows had stolen from him!Her home in the woods was built near his own. With his financial troubles, he’d rented out his house and moved into his workshop beside the property line. But she had the nerve to steal everything he’d brought into his tiny new home - even his pets!

Ms. Barrows argued that the workshop was on her property, and Mr. Jenkins had no right to move into it. The disagreement would now be settled by the judge.

Both were surprised, however, when a man in a white lab coat addressed the courtroom. “Ladies and Gentlemen, today we launch a new era of jurisprudence. Your case will be heard not by a judge, but by the remarkable technology we call the Insight 9000 Judicial Review System. I believe you’ll find this astounding new development to accurately replicate the wisdom and behavior of a typical human judge, while showing a profoundly heightened level of historical, legal and”

The man in the white lab coat proudly tapped his machine. “Simply scan each piece of evidence into the code reader, and the computer will provide the full history of the item, evaluating its full significance to the proceedings."

Bewildered but determined to make his case, Mr. Jenkins approached the bench with the first piece of evidence: a bucket of golf balls. As the machine's lasers scanned the submission, it spoke with an calm, authoritative voice. Yet the story it told began not with Mr. Jenkins' purchase of the golf balls, nor with their manufacture at a sporting goods factory, but with a precise summary of the history of the entire universe, from its birth with the Big Bang to the moment this bucket of golf balls was presented as evidence in this singular courtroom dispute.

Song – Evan

The man in the white coat cleared his throat. "I see that the perspective matrix synthesizer module requires an adjustment. I'll just recalibrate the algorithmic parameters..." he announced. Quickly he typed a few lines of code and nodded as the proceedings resumed.

Ms. Barrows then scanned Exhibit B: a landscape painting of the workshop and its surrounding area. Again the mechanical voice spoke, explaining in detail the gradual formation of our solar system and the decades-long creation of the rustic neighborhood where Ms. Barrows and Mr. Jenkins both lived.

Song – Johnny & Donna

With Exhibit C, a set of scuba equipment, the machine explained the origin of life on Earth, the creation of our atmosphere, and how Ms. Barrows emerged from a difficult childhood to become a very popular and accomplished young woman.

Song – Martin

With Exhibit D, a pile of fancy marble tiles, the computer's calm voice explained the periodic table of the elements and the many demanding details that form the world and give substance to our lives.

Mr. Jenkins scanned his radio-controlled model airplane as Exhibit E. The machine explained Einstein's theory of relativity and the way our own relatives can make our own lives so complicated.

Exhibit F was a fishtank containing, of all things, a pet octopus. The Insight 9000 explained the complex process of evolution as well as the unpredictable changes that led Mr. Jenkins into manhood.

For Exhibit G, a telescope, the machine told the story of Copernicus, Keppler, Galileo, and Ms. Barrows' difficult break from her dificult family.

Song – Julia & Martin

Mr. Jenkins' bitter expression softened as he scanned Exhibit H - an album of pictures from a wedding. Both litigants were familiar with these photographs, for the pictures showed Mr. Jenkins and Ms. Barrows getting each other. Yet the computer revealed no bias or emotion as it discussed the nature of light, darkness, color and shadow, and all the hidden textures each might reveal.

For Exhibit I, a bathroom scale, the Insight 9000 explained Newtonian physics and the ups and downs, actions and reactions of married life.

But the mood changed as Mr. Jenkins brought forth Exhibit J, a timid, scowling pet cat. The mechanical voice explained the idea of "Scrhoedinger's Cat" and coldly summarized the gambling problems that had created so much trouble in Mr. Jenkins' life.

Song – DVB

When Ms. Barrows presented Exhibit K, a portable generator, the computer provided a concise explanation of electricity – and also, to Ms. Barrows’ surprise, a brief summary of her infidelities.

For Exhibit L, an heirloom set of china plates, the Insight 9000 explained Plate tectonics and the shakeup that drove Ms. Barrows and Mr. Jenkins apart.

Song – Dennis

But Exhibit M, a plain shovel, produced a fascinating explanation of black holes, along with a somber description of the dark mood Mr. Jenkins has been in since his divorce.

When the computer registered Exhibit N, a small box of jewelry, its calmly explained how all precious metals are generated in the tremendous explosions of supernovae. The machine then continued with an explanation of the many hours of hard work Mr. Jenkins had devoted to his purchase of a gold wedding ring.

The last piece of evidence, Exhibit O, filled the courtroom with oddly tranquilizing sounds. As Ms. Barrows scanned in a set of 'Music of the Spheres' wind chimes, the Insight 9000 summarized the laws of thermodynamics, suggesting a tenuous connection between the orderly comforts of the past and the difficulties of the present.

Song – Grenold

With the evidence all presented, the Insight 9000 paused for a moment to generate a verdict. Yet Mr. Jenkins knew that he’d already begun to see things differently. Quietly he whispered to Ms. Barrows that the workshop was indeed on her property, and he asked her forgiveness for his intrusion.

Ms. Barrows replied that she had also come to see things in a new way. He would be welcome to stay in the workshop as long as he wished, she said.

At that moment, the Insight 9000 Judicial Review System awoke from its apparent slumber. “I see that the litigants have reached a settlement, but the combined effects of their actions will remain on the public record. Each of them is therefore assigned one hundred hours of community service.”

Ms. Barrows returned to her home, while Mr. Jenkins returned to the workshop with most of his remaining possessions.

The man in a white lab coat, meanwhile, loaded the Insight 9000 onto a rolling cart. The court having adjourned, he explained, it was now time for the Insight 9000 to take its weekly golf lesson.



Every detail in the above text is subject to change.
Songwriters are encouraged to suggest new text, ideas, evidence, scientific concepts
or plot details not included above. Contact Martin to discuss.

Also: Our venue's policy limits the use of copyrighted material, i.e. song parodies of copyrighted songs.
In short, we’re encouraged to write original words and music.

Song parodies can be performed at the show (and will be recorded), but the venue has asked us
not to publicly share (i.e. YouTube) any video of copyrighted material from this event.
In other words, this is the perfect opportunity to compose an original tune!

All songs and recordings for this show will be copyright 2014 by their respective performers.
All rights are reserved.