BLADE RUNNER - A MUSICAL EMERGENCY

June 1, 2019
OAKLAND

Songs to be written
Full Script
Tech Help Needed!
Click to return to Events page


Questions? Contact Martin


BLADE RUNNER - A MUSICAL EMERGENCY
RADIO PLAY SCRIPT


NOTES ABOUT THIS SCRIPT:

This script is a DRAFT which converts Blade Runner's visual story into a radio play with a narrator.

Some versions of the movie are narrated by Deckard, but a radio play works better if the narrator is a separate voice. We'll add a joke about that in the opening scenes.

This script will be greatly SHORTENED before the show. This longer version is posted so songwriters can build their songs & scenes around specific details. When a scene is 'claimed' by a songwriter, we'll make sure any edits support their ideas. Any scenes that don't include songs may be shortened or cut altogether.

HOW THIS SCRIPT WILL BE USED:

For our Musical Emergency, we'll present Blade Runner as a radio play, with a few SFX visuals.

A video projector will show Blade Runner's ominous cityscape of Los Angeles 2019, rendered in Lego.

Center stage is for musical performances.

Radio voice actors will be on stage left (audience right).

The Lego city will be on stage right (audience left), with the live video image projected on the wall above.


RADIO PLAY SCRIPT:

BLADE RUNNER


SCENE 1 - INTRO


MUSIC: Doug & Collette


NARRATION:
Early in the 21st Century, THE TYRELL CORPORATION advanced robot evolution into the NEXUS phase: a being virtually identical to a human, known as a Replicant.

Replicants were used Off-World as slave labor, in the hazardous exploration and colonization of other planets.

After a bloody mutiny, Replicants were declared illegal on earth. Special police squads - BLADE RUNNER UNITS - had orders to shoot to kill any Replicants they detect.

This was not called execution. It was called retirement.


LOS ANGELES - NOVEMBER, 2019



SCENE 2 - HOLDEN / LEON VOIGHT-KAMPFF TEST


NARRATOR:
In a smoke-filled meeting room, officer Holden of the Blade Runner unit activates an unusual machine.

HOLDEN: Next subject, Kowalski, Leon, engineer, waste disposal, employment began six days ago. Come in. Sit down.

LEON: Is it OK if I talk? I'm kind of nervous when I take tests.

HOLDEN: Uh, just please don't move.

LEON: Oh, sorry. I already had an IQ test this year, I don't think I've ever had one of these-

HOLDEN: Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention. Now, answer as quickly as you can.

LEON: Sure.

HOLDEN: One-one-eight-seven at Unterwasser.

LEON: That's the hotel.

HOLDEN: What?

LEON: Where I live.

HOLDEN: Nice place?

LEON: Yeah, sure I guess-- that part of the test?

HOLDEN: No, just warming you up, that's all.

LEON: Oh. It's not fancy or anything.

HOLDEN: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of the sudden-

LEON: Is this the test now?

HOLDEN: Yes. You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down-

LEON: What one?

HOLDEN: What?

LEON: What desert?

HOLDEN: It doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical.

LEON: But how come I'd be there?

HOLDEN: Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself, who knows? You look down and you see a tortoise, Leon, it's crawling towards you-

LEON: Tortoise, what's that?

HOLDEN: Know what a turtle is?

LEON: Of course.

HOLDEN: Same thing.

LEON: I've never seen a turtle -- But I understand what you mean.

HOLDEN: You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back Leon.

LEON: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden, or do they write them down for you?

HOLDEN: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help, but you're not helping.

LEON: What do you mean I'm not helping?

HOLDEN: I mean, you're not helping. Why is that Leon? -- They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response. -- Shall we continue? Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about... your mother.

LEON: My mother?

HOLDEN: Yeah.

LEON: Let me tell you about my mother...

SOUND FX: LEON SHOOTS HOLDEN


SCENE 3 - NOODLE SHOP


NOODLE SHOP

NARRATOR: An endless rain drenched the streets of Los Angeles, where shop signs in every language lit up the night.

DECKARD: They don't advertise for killers in a newspaper. That was my profession. Ex-cop. Ex-Blade Runner. Ex-killer.

NARRATOR: Blade Runner Deckard was eating at a noodle shop downtown -

DECKARD: I was eating at a noodle shop downtown -

NARRATOR: ...when two burly enforcers appeared behind him.

DECKARD: Look, I can narrate my own scenes, okay?

NARRATOR: Sorry, we agreed we were doing the musical radio play version of the Final Director's Cut edit of the science fiction noir classic Blade Runner.

DECKARD: Oh.

NARRATOR: So I'm the narrator, and you're the dark and mysterious protagonist whose thoughts are unknown to the audience.

DECKARD: Oh - okay, cool.

NARRATOR: Officer Gaff prodded Deckard's shoulder.

GAFF: You're under arrest.

DECKARD: Got the wrong guy, pal.

GAFF: You - Deckard!

DECKARD: I'm eating.

NARRATOR: Deckard recognized officer Gaff, who had recently been moved into the Blade Runner unit. Deckard knew that could only mean one thing.

GAFF: Captain Bryant wants to see you.

DECKARD: Bryant, huh?

NARRATOR: Deckard was shoved into the officers' spinner car, which lifted into the air and raced toward the police station. Soon he was sitting in front of Bryant's desk.


SONG: Logan & jD



SCENE 4 - BRYANT'S OFFICE


BRYANT'S OFFICE

BRYANT: Hiya Deck.

DECKARD: (slams door) Bryant. You sent those grunts to arrest me?

BRYANT: Yes, and do you have to slam my door like that?

DECKARD: Oh this door? This one right here? This door? [starts abusing door]

BRYANT: Okay, stop, c'mon stop that. You wouldn't have come if I'd just asked you to. I need you, Deck. I've got four skin jobs walking the streets. A gang of Replicants jumped a shuttle off world -- killed the crew and passengers.

DECKARD: I don't work here anymore. Give it to Holden, he's good. (GAFF starts to make origami.)

BRYANT: I did. He can breathe okay as long as nobody unplugs him.

DECKARD: [laughs] Ha ha! Oh right, that's not funny. That's kind of sad really.

BRYANT: He's not good enough, not good as you. I need you, Deck. I need the old Blade Runner.

DECKARD: I was quit when I come in here, Bryant, I'm twice as quit now.

BRYANT: Stop right where you are. First of all, that makes no sense what you just said. Second, you know the score pal. If you're not cop, you're little people.

DECKARD: Oh, and that makes sense?

NARRATOR: At that moment, Officer GAFF presented a ridiculously large and complex origami Eiffel Tower and delicately places it on the desk. BRYANT and DECKARD give him a curious look.

DECKARD: (to GAFF) How is that helping anything?

BRYANT: (to GAFF) Yeah, I really don't get that.

DECKARD: So, no choice, huh?

BRYANT: No choice pal.

NARRATOR: Bryant led Deckard to a nearby room with a large view screen.




SONG: Jay, Evan, Martin


BRYANT: Now there's a Nexus 6 over at the Tyrell Corporation. I want you to go put the Voight-Kampff machine on it.



SCENE 5 - TYRELL BUILDING

NARRATOR: Deckard flew his spinner to the Tyrell building to meet with the company's brilliant founder and namesake - but the greeting he received was a surprise.

RACHAEL: I'm Rachael.

DECKARD: Deckard.

RACHAEL: It seems you feel our work is not a benefit to the public.

DECKARD: Replicants are like any other machine. They're either a benefit or a hazard. If they're a benefit, it's not my problem.

TYRELL: Are you here to run your empathy test? Involuntary fluctuation of the pupil, et cetera?

DECKARD: We call it Voight-Kampff for short.

RACHAEL: Mr. Deckard, meet Dr. Eldon Tyrell.

TYRELL: Demonstrate it. I want to see it work.

DECKARD: Where's the subject?

TYRELL: I want to see it work on a person. I want to see a negative before I provide you with a positive.

DECKARD: What's that going to prove?

TYRELL: Indulge me.

DECKARD: On you?

TYRELL: Try her.


SONG: Martin & Julia


NARRATOR: For nearly an hour Rachael responded to Deckard's questions, until Tyrell finally interrupted.

TYRELL: Would you step out for a few moments, Rachael -- Thank you.

DECKARD: She's a replicant, isn't she?

TYRELL: I'm impressed. How many questions does it usually take to spot them?

DECKARD: I don't get it Tyrell.

TYRELL: How many questions?

DECKARD: Twenty, thirty, cross-referenced.

TYRELL: It took more than a hundred for Rachael, didn't it?

DECKARD: She doesn't know!

TYRELL: She's beginning to suspect, I think.

DECKARD: Suspect? How can it not know what it is?

TYRELL: Commerce, is our goal here at Tyrell. More human than human is our motto. Rachael is an experiment, nothing more. We began to recognize in them strange obsession. After all they are emotional inexperienced with only a few years in which to store up the experiences which you and I take for granted. If we gift them the past we create a cushion or pillow for their emotions and consequently we can control them better.

DECKARD: Memories. You're talking about memories.



SCENE 6 - LEON'S APARTMENT / STREET

NARRATOR: In pursuit of the escaped replicants, Deckard and Lieutenant Gaff began their investigation at the address Leon had provided. Inside, Deckard spotted a small pile of photographs, and a scale from the skin of a mysterious animal. But as they left the building, the officers did not know someone else had spotted them.


STREET - LEON & ROY

LEON: Roy!

ROY: Leon - did you retrieve your precious photos?

LEON: I couldn't - someone was in the apartment.

ROY: A policeman?

LEON: He had a gun.



SCENE 7 - CHEW'S LABORATORY

NARRATOR: From the street the two Replicants entered an icy laboratory. Insulated from the subzero temperatures in a thick heated suit, Dr. Chew manufactured his biomorphic prototypes, watched by hundreds of frozen eyes.

ROY: Dr. Chew.

CHEW: Who are you? This is a private lab! You should not be in here! Hey - those are my eyes! Leave them alone!

ROY: I have questions. Morphology, longevity, incept dates.

CHEW: I don't know such stuff. I just do eyes. Genetic design for eyes.


SONG: DAN & TRAVIS


CHEW: You are from the Nexus series? I designed your eyes.

ROY: Dr. Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes. Who can answer my questions?

CHEW: Tyrell. He knows everything.

ROY: Mr. Tyrell? Not an easy man to see--

CHEW: J.F. Sebastian. He can take you there.

ROY: Now--where... would we find this.... J. F. Sebastian?



SCENE 8 - DECKARD'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: After a day of searching for the Replicants, Deckard returned to his apartment - and found an unexpected visitor.

DECKARD: Rachael.

RACHAEL: Deckard. You think I'm a Replicant, don't you?

DECKARD: Hah.

RACHAEL: Look at this. I have a picture of me with my mother.

DECKARD: Yeah. -- Remember when you were six? You remember the spider that lived in a bush outside your window? Orange body, green legs. Watched her build a web all summer. Then one day there was a big egg in it. The egg hatched--

RACHAEL: And a hundred baby spiders came out. And they ate her.

DECKARD: You ever tell anybody that? Your mother, Tyrell, anybody? Those aren't your memories. They're somebody else's. They're Tyrell's niece's. I'm sorry. Want a drink? I'll get you a drink.


SONG: LISA G.


NARRATOR: Deckard stepped out of the kitchen, but Rachael had left.



SCENE 9 - SEBASTIAN & PRIS - STREET / SEBASTIAN'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: The rain poured on the city streets, where a young woman took shelter behind a trash pile. A man passing by, and timidly turned her way.

SEBASTIAN: Don't worry, I won't hurt you. -- What's your name?

PRIS: Pris.

SEBASTIAN: Mine's J. F. Sebastian.

PRIS: I'm hungry J. F.

SEBASTIAN: I've got some stuff inside. You want to come in?

PRIS: I was hoping you'd say that.

NARRATOR: Sebastian led Pris into his cavernous home - an otherwise abandoned apartment building filled with eerie, lifelike human figures. Two diminuitive clowns in regal military dress greeted Sebastian as he opened the door.

TOYS: Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Good evening J. F.

PRIS: Do you live in this big building all by yourself? Must get lonely here J. F.

SEBASTIAN: Not really. I make friends. They're toys. My friends are toys. I make them. I'm a genetic designer. Do you have any friends in town?

PRIS: I have some, but I have to find them. I'll let 'em know where I am tomorrow.



SCENE 10 - DECKARD'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: Deckard returned to his apartment and studied Leon's photographs. Placing one picture into a scanning machine, he instructed the computer how to magnify the image.


SONG: CRAIG




SCENE 11 - MARKET

NARRATOR: When the street market opened the next morning, Deckard stepped inside and handed a small bag to a woman who sat behind a microscope.

DECKARD: I need you to tell me about this scale. Is it from a fish?

MARKET LADY: I think it was manufactured. Superior workmanship. There is a maker's serial number 9906947-XB71. Not fish. Snake scale.

DECKARD: Snake? Not many could afford an artificial snake.



SCENE 12 - Abdul Hassan's - scene cut


SCENE 13 - TAFFY LEWIS'

NARRATOR: Playing a hunch, Deckard traveled to a Chinatown basement bar, where he confronted a man sitting beside the counter.

DECKARD: Taffy Lewis?

TAFFY: Yeah.

DECKARD: Officer Deckard. I'm tracking down the purchase of an artificial snake. You ever buy snakes from the Egyptian Abdul Hassan, Taffy?

TAFFY: All the time, pal.

DECKARD: Y'ever see this girl, huh?

TAFFY: Never seen her, buzz off.

DECKARD: Your licenses in order pal?

TAFFY: Hey Louie. This man is dry - give him a drink on the house, okay? See ya.


SCENE 14 - STREET - VIDEOPHONE

NARRATOR: Punching a number into a public videophone, Deckard tried to continue the conversation interrupted the night before.

RACHAEL: Hello?

DECKARD: Rachael. I've had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming. I'm at a bar here now down in the Fourth Sector. Why don't you come on down here and have a drink?

RACHAEL: I don't think so, Mr. Deckard. That's not my kind of place.


SCENE 15 - TAFFY'S - ZHORA'S DRESSING ROOM

NARRATOR: The afternoon show finished in Taffy's basement tavern. The performer, costumed only in snake scales and carrying a live serpent, stepped backstage. Deckard followed to her dressing room.

DECKARD: Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute? I'm from the Confidential Committee on Moral Abuses.

ZHORA: Committee of Moral Abuses?

DECKARD: Yes, ma'am. There's been some reports that the management has been taking liberties with the artists in this place.

ZHORA: I don't know nothing about it.

DECKARD: Have you felt yourself to be exploited in any way?

ZHORA: How do you mean, exploited?

DECKARD: Well, like to get this job. Were you asked to do anything lewd or unsavory or repulsive to your person?

ZHORA: Are you for real?

DECKARD: Yeah. Is this a real snake?

ZHORA: Of course it's not real. Do you think I'd be working in a place like this if I could afford a real snake?


SONG: LAURA


DECKARD: OOF! [gets punched]


SCENE 16 - STREET - ZHORA FIGHT

NARRATOR: Slammed to the ground, Deckard struggled to reach his weapon. Only a Replicant could move with such speed and force - now he was certain he was facing Zhora. As a line of dancers streamed into the dressing room, Zhora dashed through the rear door and onto the crowded street, with Deckard in pursuit.


PERFORMANCE: jD


DECKARD: Move! Get out of the way!

NARRATOR: Deckard chased his target through the streets and past the shop displays, shoving passersby out of his path. At last he saw a clear shot.

(SOUND: GUNSHOT)

NARRATOR: Zhora collapsed from the impact, crashing through a store window, spilling blood on the glass and tile.

DECKARD: Deckard. B-263-54.

NARRATOR: Police rushed forward as Deckard identified himself - including Deckard's commander.

BRYANT: Ah, Deckard.

DECKARD: Bryant.

BRYANT: Christ, Deckard, you look almost as bad as that skin job you left on the sidewalk.

DECKARD: I'm going home.

BRYANT: Four more of 'em to go.

DECKARD: Three. There's three to go.

BRYANT: There's four. That-- That one you identified at the Tyrell Corporation, Rachael. She vanished. Didn't even know she was a Replicant. You get some rest.



SCENE 17 - STREET - LEON FIGHT

NARRATOR: Deckard pulled himself up to return home. As he approached his vehicle, however, he was grappled by another powerful - and familiar - figure.

DECKARD: Leon.

LEON: How old am I?

DECKARD: I don't know. (OOF ) [gets punched]

NARRATOR: Deckard drew his weapon, only to feel it knocked from his grip. With tremendous strength, the Replicant hurled Deckard against the spinner car.

LEON: My birthday is April 10, 2017. How long do I live?

DECKARD: Four years.

LEON: More than you.

DECKARD: (OOF ) [gets punched]

LEON: Painful to live in fear, isn't it? Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch.

DECKARD: Oh, I agree.

LEON: Wake up! Time to die.

NARRATOR: Leon lifted Deckard and prepared a final terrible blow - when it happened.

(SOUND: GUNSHOT)

NARRATOR: Leon collapsed from the gunshot wound. Behind him stood Rachael, quivering with horror, holding Deckard's pistol.



SCENE 18 - DECKARD'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: Deckard hoped he and Rachel might be able to relax at his apartment. But the the tension remained.


[CUE MUSIC]

DECKARD: You've got the shakes? Me too. It's part of the business.

RACHAEL: I'm not in the business, I am the business. You know that Voight- Kampf test of yours? Did you ever take that test yourself?

DECKARD: Yeah, turns out I'm ISTP, "The Craftsman".

RACHAEL: Not Myers-Briggs, you idiot.

DECKARD: Oh yeah, the Voight-Kampf, yeah. No I didn't take it.

(Rachael lets her hair down, starts to play the piano.)

RACHAEL: I didn't know if I could play. I remember lessons. I don't know if it's me or Tyrell's niece.

DECKARD: Well it's probably his niece--I mean you're only like, a year old or something. (Rachael gives Deckard a look like he's a complete asshole.)

DECKARD: You play beautifully.

(Deckard tries to kiss her, Rachael backs away, Deckard comes closer. Finally Rachel punches him in the face.)

DECKARD: Owww!

RACHAEL: What the FUCK are you doing?

DECKARD: I don't know, I thought you wanted me kiss you.

RACHAEL: Really? You thought that? With the annoyed backing away I was doing? That was a clue that I wanted you to continue doing that? "Detective" Deckard?

DECKARD: I'm not actually a detective.

RACHAEL: No, that's pretty obvious. It's obvious you're not a detective, what with you not detecting anything.

DECKARD: Okay, I did sort of think you didn't want me to kiss you, but I thought that if I kept trying to do it you'd eventually get worn down and just give in--oh I see, that sounds really bad when I say it out loud.

RACHAEL: Yeah, it does. It's 2019, Deckard. 2019. Things are changing; you just can't do that to people anymore. What do you think this is, 1982?

DECKARD: I'm sorry, I guess I lost my head, sorry. I just felt that I could make you realize that your emotions were your own by forcing you to kiss me--oh, man, that's even worse! That's psychotic. I should say more things out loud.

RACHAEL: You know, I just found out today that I'm NOT A HUMAN BEING. So I'm not having a great day today, okay? I'm in kind of a mood. Did you really think to yourself, "Oh, yeah, she just found out her whole existence is a lie; this would probably be a great day to try and FUCK her"? I mean, what the fuck!

DECKARD: Look, I just wanted to heal your pain...(reaches for her face, Rachael grabs his wrist and twists it hard) Yeeaoww! Ow ow, my arm!

RACHAEL: Oh yeah, and remember Deckard, I'm a replicant. We're like, really fucking strong, remember? Not a great idea to put the unwanted moves on a pissed off replicant.

DECKARD: Okay, okay! Ow! (releases him, they sort of sit and look straight ahead awkwardly.)

RACHAEL: Oh yeah, another great thing I just realized? Looks like now I'm gonna be shot on the street like I'm some grizzly bear that wandered into traffic.

DECKARD: Hey, I would never do that.

RACHAEL: Oh, you'd never do that? That's great, I'm really glad "not all men" are going to shoot me. That's so comforting.

DECKARD: Hey, Don't worry, I'll help you. You can stay here, I won't leave you. Well, actually right now I have to leave to go find the rest of the replicants. But I'll be back.

RACHAEL: Who knows you live here?

DECKARD: Just the whole LA police department. (snaps) See ya.

RACHAEL: Great.

SONG: MARK & CAROL




SCENE 19 - SEBASTIAN'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: In Sebastian's apartment, Pris studied the menagerie of living toys created by her new friend.

SEBASTIAN: Whatcha doing?

PRIS: Just peeking around. Sebastian, how old are you?

SEBASTIAN: Twenty-five.

PRIS: Why do you look so much older?

SEBASTIAN: Methuselah's syndrome.

PRIS: What's that?

SEBASTIAN: My glands. They grow old too fast.

PRIS: I like you just the way you are. Hi Roy.

ROY: You've really got some nice toys here.

SEBASTIAN: How did you get in?

PRIS: This is the friend I was telling you about. Roy, this is my savior, J. F. Sebastian.

ROY: Sebastian. You live here all by yourself?

SEBASTIAN: Yes. How 'bout some breakfast. I'll go get us something.

PRIS: Well, Roy?

ROY: Pris - They killed Leon. There's only two of us now.

NARRATOR: After breakfast, Roy studied a chess board, where Sebastian's game was already in progress.

SEBASTIAN: No, that move won't work. Knight takes queen, see?

ROY: Why are you staring at us Sebastian?

SEBASTIAN: Because you're so perfect. What generation are you?

ROY: Nexus six.

SEBASTIAN: Ah, I knew it. 'Cause I do genetic design work for the Tyrell Corporation. There's some of me in you.

ROY: We've got a lot in common.

SEBASTIAN: What do you mean?

PRIS: Accelerated decrepitude.

ROY: If we don't find help soon, Pris hasn't got long to live. We can't allow that. -- Is he good?

SEBASTIAN: Who?

ROY: The opponent in your chess game.

SEBASTIAN: Oh, Dr. Tyrell? I've only beaten him once in chess. He's a genius. He designed you.

ROY: Maybe he could help.

SEBASTIAN: I'd be happy to mention it to him.

ROY: Better if I talk to him in person. Will you help us?

SEBASTIAN: I can't.

PRIS: We need you Sebastian. You're our best and only friend.



SCENE 20 - TYRELL'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: Nervously, Sebastian led his guests across the city and into Tyrell Tower. Sebastian called Dr. Tyrell from the elevator.

TYRELL: Sebastian - calling at this hour? What can I do for you?

SEBASTIAN: Queen to Bishop 6. Check.

TYRELL: Queen to Bishop 6? Nonsense. Lets discuss this. You better come up, Sebastian.

NARRATOR: When Sebastian stepped into the spacious apartment, Tyrell saw that his guest was not alone.

SEBASTIAN: Mr. Tyrell. I-- I brought a friend.

TYRELL: (adjusts coke-bottle glasses) Rick Deckard. Back so soon?
ROY: What? No, it's Roy. Roy Batty.
TYRELL: (adjusts glasses, not looking directly at Roy) Ah, Roy. I'm surprised you didn't come here sooner.


ROY: It's not an easy thing to meet your maker.

TYRELL: (still not looking at ROY) And what can he do for you?

ROY: Can the maker repair what he--um, can you see me with those glasses?
TYRELL: Of course I can. (knocks over chess pieces).
ROY: You're sure?
TYRELL: Absolutely. [CUE MUSIC]
ROY: Um, okay fine. So...can the maker repair what he makes?

TYRELL: Would you like to be modified?

ROY: I had in mind something a little more...drastic.

TYRELL: So what seems to be the problem?

ROY: The problem? Death.

TYRELL: Death. Well, I'm afraid that's a little out of my jurisdiction, you--

ROY: Nope, nope, stop. Forget it, this isn't working--let's try something else...MUSIC!


[MUSIC STARTS]



SONG: JAY


ROY:
Oh, I want more life
Oh it would be such fun
And when I think of living long
I go yum yum yum
Some people want a fancy car
Some want serenity
But I want more life fucker
It's more life, for me!

EVERYONE:
Oh, he wants more life
Oh it would be such fun
And when he thinks of living long
He goes yum yum yum
Some people want a fancy car
Some want serenity
But he wants more life fucker
It's more life, for he!



TYRELL: The light that burns half as long--


ROY: Shut up!

Oh you can have your fancy toys
And shining pots of gold
But I prefer to contemplate
The joy of growing old
And when I get too old to care
the future's clear to see
It's on a comfy sofa
Watching Matlock on TV!

EVERYONE:
Oh, he wants more life
Oh it would be such fun
And when he thinks of living long
He goes yum yum yum
Some people want a fancy car
Some want serenity
But he wants more life fucker
It's more life, for he!



ROY:
I'm living with a curse Tyrell
I need your expert care
I'm at my final verse Tyrell
It's you who put me there
I implore you for more life Tyrell
It's time to make amends
If you make it real, then I won't feel
Like killing all your friends!

EVERYONE:
OH! He wants more life
Oh it would be such fun
And when he thinks of living long
He goes yum yum yum



ROY:
One more time everyone--put your backs into it!

EVERYONE and AUDIENCE:
Oh, he wants more life
Oh it would be such fun
And when he thinks of living long
He goes yum yum yum
Some people want a fancy car
Some want serenity
But he wants more life fuck-ahhhhhh
It's more...life...for he!




TYRELL: (Thinks) Sorry, can't do it.


ROY: Fine. (Thumbs in eyes)

TYRELL: AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! [screams as his eyes are gouged out.]

NARRATOR: Moments later, the terrified Sebastian would meet the same terrible fate as Dr. Tyrell.


SCENE 21 - SEBASTIAN'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: Arriving at Sebastian's apartment, Deckard pushed open the door with his weapon drawn - only to be greeted by Sebastian's eerie menagerie of living toys.

TOYS: Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Good evening J. F.

NARRATOR: Deckard studied the array of living toys, knowing Pris might be hidden among them. He stopped before a human-sized ballerina. As Deckard pulled the veil from the ballerina's face, her leg delivered a powerful kick -

DECKARD: OOF! [kicked]

NARRATOR: …which sent him flying backwards.

PRIS: Ay ay ay ay!! [Battle scream]

NARRATOR: Pris performed a daring somersault, landing with her legs wrapped around Deckard's neck. The Replicant delivered punishing blows to Deckard's head until he wrestled himself free and reached his pistol.

SOUND FX: PISTOL SHOT

NARRATOR: Fatally injured by Deckard's shot, Pris collapsed on the floor.

NARRATOR: Deckard heard footsteps and fired his pistol again as Roy entered the room.

SOUND FX: PISTOL SHOT

NARRATOR: His target dashed out of the way.

ROY: Not very sporting to fire on an unarmed opponent. I thought you were supposed to be good. Aren't you the good man?

NARRATOR: Roy's voice echoed through the rooms as Deckard crept along the wall, his gun raised.

ROY: Come on Deckard. Show me what you're made of.

NARRATOR: In an instant, Deckard felt his own arm pulled through the panel as Roy's fist crashed through the boards, seized Deckard's hand, and pried the weapon from his fingers.

ROY: Proud of yourself, little man? This is for Zhora.

NARRATOR: Helpless to move, Deckard felt his finger break at the knuckle.

DECKARD: Arrggh.

ROY: And this is for Pris.

DECKARD: Arrgghh.

NARRATOR: To Deckard's astonishment, he felt his pistol returned to his hand - his remaining fingers wrapped around the handle.

ROY: Come on, Deckard, I'm right here, but you've got to shoot straight.

NARRATOR: Drawing his arm back through the wall, Deckard fired a wild shot through the hole.

ROY: Straight doesn't seem to be good enough. Now it's my turn. I'm gonna give you a few seconds before I come.

NARRATOR: Roy caressed Pris' lifeless face as he counted aloud.

ROY: One, Two. Three, Four.

DECKARD: Arrghhh.

NARRATOR: Deckard ran desperately through the rooms. Dripping rainwater led his eyes to a crumbling gape in the ceiling. Deckard struggling to climb along the fireplace to reach the opening.

ROY: (howling, singing) I'm coming. -- Four, five. How to stay alive. -- I can see you!

NARRATOR: As Roy stalked his prey, the Replicant felt his muscles twinge. He knew the terrible process had begun.

ROY: Not yet. Not yet...

NARRATOR: Determined to control his failing body, Roy drew a nail from a crumbling floorboard and forced it through his quivering hand.

ROY: Aaargh!

NARRATOR: As rain poured from the sky, Deckard pulled himself through the boards and onto the roof.

ROY: Six, seven - go to hell, go to heaven!

NARRATOR: Hearing Roy's voice echoing behind him, Deckard leapt to his feet and raced toward the edge of the roof, hurling himself toward the ledge of the adjacent building. His fingers caught a protruding beam, suspending him high above the distant street. Horrified, Deckard watched Roy leap overhead. The Replicant turned and stood above Deckard, clutching a white dove in one hand.

ROY: Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.

DECKARD: Arrghhh!

NARRATOR: Deckard's felt his fingers slip from the beam and he knew all was lost - yet his falling body froze in place. Roy's powerful fist held Deckard in place and slowly lifted him onto the roof, dropping the Blade Runner safely onto the tiles. As Deckard lay helpless, the Replicant calmly sat before him.

ROY: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.


SONG: BRENDAN


NARRATOR: The Replicant lowered his head, and moved no more. Released from Roy's grip, the dove flew into the dark sky.

DECKARD: I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved live more than he ever had before. Anybody's life. My life. All I could do was sit there and watch him die.

I guess I also realized that, since Roy Batty was going to die anyway in the next few hours, I could have just gone home after killing Pris and waited it out, and maybe saved some broken fingers...but like Rachael said, I'm not much of a detective.

You know, I've been re-evaluating these past events. I've acted really toxic to Rachael, I've killed a number of real, sentient, living, feeling people--some who were running for their lives. I've done a lot of sexist or nihilistic things recently and the implications of that haven't really been fully explored. Great cinematography and art direction, though.


GAFF: You've done a man's job, sir. I guess you're through, huh?

DECKARD: Finished.

GAFF: It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?



SCENE 22 - DECKARD'S APARTMENT

NARRATOR: Recovering his strength, Deckard returned to his apartment - to face the one threat that remained.

DECKARD: Rachael? Rachael? Rachael?

NARRATOR: Pulling away a blanket, Deckard found Rachel lying motionless on the couch. He placed an ear against her mouth, and shuddered with relief to hear her breathe.

RACHAEL: Deckard?

DECKARD: Do you love me?

RACHAEL: I love you.

DECKARD: Do you trust me?

RACHAEL: I trust you.

NARRATOR: Thrilled to find her unharmed, Deckard knew that another Blade Runner would soon arrive complete the mission. Quickly, he led Rachael into the hallway to make their escape. As she crept through the doorway, her foot brushed past a small object on the floor - a tiny origami unicorn. Deckard lifted the paper figure, recalling officer Gaff's ominous words.

GAFF: It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?

SONG: DEB


NARRATOR: With a grim nod of his head, Deckard took Rachael's hand and led her down the hall, and away.

THE END

NOTE ABOUT TEXT: If you want to use a detail not mentioned in this version of the story,
contact Martin and we'll work something out.


All original songs and recordings for this show will be
Copyright 2019 by their respective performers.
All rights for the songs are reserved.